I Hate The Internet

I know, I know, I'm using a blog on the internet, so how can I possibly hate it? Well, you see, I've found that with the anonymity that comes with posting something online also comes a lack of consequence and self control. It's easy to forget that we're talking to real life people online. Language is far more laxed and insults fly faster than a goose to Fabio's face (that's right, no reference is too old for me)

While sometimes this openness is great, most of the time when you're that upfront with people you just let your inner dumb-ass shine. I find this mostly in the comments section of just about anything. Recently, a lady was severely injured (as in brain damage) on the set of Transformers 3 when a stunt went horribly wrong. She was just an extra (not even a stunt woman) who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course, she is suing, which is understandable and the right thing to do in that situation. So, how did the TF fans handle this news of a lawsuit? Most were supportive, but a very vocal group took it personally, as if Paramount, Michael Bay, and Transformers are above reproach. Some made it sound like she could just walk it off. Others made jokes saying they should sue because the first two movies gave them brain damage. The anonymity provided to them allows them to make any statement they want, with reckless regard to feelings or human decency.

Another gem is whenever any political statement is made, someone must post about a crazy conspiracy about a One World Government™ that will soon bring all of us to our knees. Really? Really?! Do you....do you know where you live? Look, if we were in Soviet Russia when Stalin was in charge, I could understand, but when someone is changing healthcare?! Let's compare my two examples here, shall we. In the United States, if you disagree with anyone, that's your right. You can say I'm wrong, I can say you're wrong, and we can go about our lives. In the USSR in the 50s, if you were even remotely suspected of disagreeing with the state you would be sent to a reeducation camp (if you were lucky) Not only that, but if they had to make you disappear they'd (before the days of photoshop) find every picture of you they could and painstakingly remove you from each one. You see, not only did they imprison and/or kill you, they made sure that not even history would remember you. So yes, since the government is spending too much money, this is obviously some kind of elaborate plan to destroy the world economy then rebuild it from the ground up. It's so stupid, it's fool proof. No one will ever suspect it, except every other tard on the internet that posts about it.

If you haven't guessed, I have a low tolerance for stupidity and ignorance. I do, however, have a solution. Picture this: a loaded gun mounted to every computer in the world, pointed at the user. If the user ever posts anything stupid (determined by a complex algorithm built into the computer) they will be shot in the face! I know it might not be the best solution, but I think it will make me feel a lot better about going online.

And really, isn't that what counts?

An Open Letter To Jesse Ventura

Dear Mr. "The Body",

Why? Why have you gone so crazy? I'm not sure that you were ever a reasonable person (you did, after all, play a man who didn't have time to bleed) but you just seem....crazier than normal. You must realize when you go around spouting off the craziest conspiracy theories you think of, that the people who disagree with you aren't necessarily part of same said conspiracy. You also can't call them stubborn and unwilling to listen when your main tactic for trying to convince others that you are right is to just stare at them and keep repeating your side of the story over and over and over again. Steely eyed gazes into the souls of your opponents isn't the way to win arguments.

Stop being creepy/crazy.


Love,
The Internet

Diplomatic Immunity

So, as you may already know, a site called Wikileaks has been leaking (if it wasn't obvious) secret documents to the world at large. Now I, personally, have been on the fence about this. On the one hand, I think that most governments are not as upfront with their citizens as they should be. Under the table deals, espionage, and cover-ups run rampent in those higher offices (as Wikileaks has proven) However, some of the information that has been kept secret can be very damaging if it got out (like the fact Pakistan said we could bomb terrorist training camps in their country and they'll claim the bombs belong to them)

To say this is a black and white issue is to not even remotely explore it. Should Wikileaks be held responsible? I don't know. At that point you are just killing the messenger as opposed to trying to enact any real change. I mean, that's the equivalent to a child doing something bad, another child finding out and telling everybody, and then no one disciplines the child who did the wrong thing, instead going after the tattletale. I've heard senators going on record saying that the founder of Wikileaks, Julian Assange, should be labeled an enemy combatant. Yet, these same senators said nothing about charging Condoleezza Rice or Hillary Clinton with conspiracy to commet espionage when they asked US diplomats to spy on foreign diplomats, getting their finger prints, credit card numbers, and DNA. I'm not naive, I know that sometimes in politics you need to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but why would you need their DNA? Do you need to make sure they aren't some kind of Albino Space Lizard here to enslave mankind? Even some past diplomates have denounced their actions. I'm still having trouble grasping this. Why blame a website for airing out your dirty laundry when you're the one who crapped on the bedsheets?

Of course, there is the more sensitive material that probably shouldn't have gotten out. Like how a lot of Iran's neighbors want the US to do something about the unstable country, but they don't want to show public support in fear of a backlash. While I do think that transparency is something that we need from our governments, this was perhaps something best left alone. Not just this, but anything that was a candid remark about other individuals. That information really served no other purpose other than to piss someone off. Plus, it shows the level of maturity government workers and servants have by posting their middle school insults at foreign dignitaries. Of course, they could have done the nice thing and apologize for what they said, but, as of this writing, I have heard of no such thing happening.

So what has this taught me? What profound insight have I gained from this tail? People are children. They prefer to blame others rather than take responsibility for their actions. They'll call people names behind their backs, spy on them, and make suspect dealings that no one will be the wiser to. Their only regret isn't that they did these shady things, but that they were caught.

Hello

I figured that my first blog should be somewhat of an introduction (well, as much of an introduction as one can give semi-anonymously through the internet) What am I going to talk about? What tales of adventure will we go on? Will that rash ever clear up? Who knows, I certainly don't.